Hi-Jinx Wild Card Sauvignon Blanc White Wine, American, 3L, 13.49% ABV

Details

Hi-Jinx Sauv Blanc 3L 13.49% alcohol by volume.

Directions

Do not cut with chainsaw. For a less messy & safer alternative, use hands & see bottom of box for opening instructions. Opening Instructions (Chainsaw Not Required): 1. Lay box flat with perforation facing upwards. Toward your face. Don snorkel & mask. Press down firmly on round tab. Next, press in the perforated sides and pull open the large panel without tearing it off. 2. Pull tab: Reach in and check to make sure no snapping turtles are present, pull the tap out of the box by its base, sliding the first groove of the tap over the edge of the box. Nice job. You are almost there. 3. Lock tab: No key required. Tuck large panel into first groove, locking the tap into place, with spout pointing down for pouring (or up if you are feeling spiteful). 4. Peel off the protective foil and throw it away, or save it for later, in case you need it for something. Just don't eat it. 5. Press tap to begin pouring directly into your mouth, or into a glass like a normal person. Remove snorkel & mask before enjoying.